January 2
I needed a COM-POZ today but did yoga instead. Some days I really feel like disappearing (poof). Now that the house thing is off my shoulders there's this rent strike thing & 11 people in the coop are striking (inc. us) to protest abolition of rent control. I don't wanna get evited now that the house is in my control. All people were here for coop & rent meeting. I have names of strikers on my list.
January 7
Nasty letter from landlord can be ignored. . . Li'l Mike came over & sat. He didn't know Joe's leaving and Kitty left too. He needs somethig to do so badly. Just comes over looking for dope. Tried for a flik but The Last Picture Show was sold out. Weird sleeping here alone. CRA is taking over building w/ free rent & based on need. Weird.
January 11
Old hippie me w/ long skirt at work. Hard to bicycle with that & my rotten machine. Girl came from CRA today - Joe & Dave talked to her. Paid 1/2 of rent to Lubart so's we don't get arrested. Rent control passed too. Horrah. Sue here - neat. Dave Deihl is reported to have told Nana bout me cohabiting, etc. Wot a turd.
February 3
MIND EXPANDING EXERCISE:
Poliics: change things, resist evil people, materialistic
Religion: Go with the flow, they [difficult people] are your karma, permanent, unchanging, spiritual
Both: Common Humanity
Politics: work for oppressed brothers & sisters, human like you so you wouldn't like being oppressed.
Spirituality: All part of cosmic soul, all equally entitled, wish no bad to anyone
BOTH: No ego involvement, anti-intellectualism, common cause identity
[tying to work out/combine my two obsessions]
February 6
It's the fern! [Fen?] People uprooted in mind & spirit. Little Mike been missing for 5 days, dogs been picked up., J & P U B & E at odds, me as usual up in the air with no real Cambridge roots, S. with no job, my parents getting more destitute. Ma had to quit her job because of whiplash & Dad still unemployed. . . Food coop meeting--grape pickets. I must acquire a notebook & study Dolmetch music history. At least I put an Angela Davis poster on Lefkowitz's [BU music history professor] board.
March 17
This may be a bearable weekend--wot with party & coop dinner here (hostess Cancer Marcia) & finally decided to drop out of Ananda Marga & into CTOC or Sci. for the People. Within a few years I too can be a frustrated Cambridge intellectual radical like Harry Winner et al. at Jeannie's house. My horroscope basket & etc. are pushing me into it--service as a radical, lasting service, not bandaid social work. Al asked me to be on the editorial collective of SFP & boy I'd dig it. Typed Peter Pan [home production for party] all morn did stuff. Org. meeting all afternooon. They're frustrated but I want to get it together against overlords at BU.
March 27
Big stinko at BU with cops bashing kids who were protesting Marine recruitment. Emotionalism. Tom and Rita were there & reported back shaking. So I must side with the rads & not let intellectualism weigh me down. D and I wrote leaflet for SFAA (relieved guilt?). Astrology is therapy making me look at life positively but political insight voids it as intelletual cop-out. Stoned cousins demanded Motown concert & I gave it.
March 31
Xeroxed wedding music and practiced a bit on BU organs, then to concerned BU turds meeting. Heavy psychooogical trip for me. I kept saying things which nobody responded to & didn't know anyone. 'Cept Jeff Levy & we talked about all the radical chic professors doing their professional thing. Attacking David Rubin for holding classes--if he's thinking, what would I do? I think they got pissed at what I said about intellectuals. Wipe out.
April 4
Workshop in lobby at DGE with RYM & PLP & YS vs. Roy Wates, Trustees, Mirak--all striking for different reasons. What's wrong with conscience, Al? Where is the one voice in the radical movement as intellectual researching the screwing mechanisms of the power structure? Being nice questioners? Is it enough to challenge your own bosses ally with the poor? Or should your only reasons be that the powers are screwing the poor out of a sense of conscience? I s'pose one should only hate the government which opposes all. Paul the Anarchist with big smile . . Evening for harpsichord work & watching Bogart & Mung in circles [dog & cat].
April 7
Having some real mind changing thoughts about guilt & solidarity & revolution & classes lately. It doesn't do good to be guguilty cause you'll try as soon as you can to get rid of it by performing one act congratulating yourself. Instead one should realize the ongoing need tor commitment to challenging the system (capitalist), building for a humane (art-preserving, spirituality preserving) socialism. I can no longer hate artists, Woodstock hoppies, but they need a clearer picture of how they fit in. Life is too easy for pigs but they must be confronted. They will react & tighten their grip, being human. And they're people too, but one can't be too nice & never raise waves.
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